Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
You admitted to me in secrecy that you want to jerk off a unicorn.
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
After 3 parties, all of them busted, and 4 field sobriety tests, I AM the cop whisperer
Randomize
