omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
I think I just scared the sex out of my booty call. He saw me at the grocery store using one of those "future mother" parking spots right next to the handicap ones. He just made eye contact and drove off. I regret my laziness.
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