Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
woke up this morning with "hah" written on my penis.i was like wtf?? morning wood kicked in and found out what it really said, haNNah.then i remembered.
I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
They let me keep the giant cocktail glass because I threw up in it. And made out with the bartender. Europeans are so generous. I'm getting it engraved
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
For now I'm a single mom monday-thursday and a drunk looking for dick the rest of the week
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
Just got an x-ray done of my hip and you can clearly see the outline of my penis in it. When the doctor saw it she said "wow I haven't seen one that big on an x-ray before." Pretty sure the doc and the nurses are going to be talking about me on their lunch break.
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