I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
that girl from work that wants to bone me just said 'the last time i went this long without sex was in jail'. sup, red flag
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
He needs to seriously stop texting me at 3am for sex. Late night and early morning hours are for the guys who DON'T bust a nut in the first 5 minutes of making out.
Yeah minute men are best for late afternoons when you're inbetween running errands and have nothing to do.
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
Throwing up into Nora's potty chair while simultaneously having beer shits was truly the highlight of my Christmas season.
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
Randomize
