wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?
yes... and buy you lunch
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
i'd be lying to you if i said i didn't just bring up microsoft excel to make an alcohol budget
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
I will come over now to take full advantage of you in your vulnerable state.
Fine. I should warn you I just threw up in danas fish tank. Fish are dead. Livers dead. I smell and look like a dead animal. And not showering. So deal with it.
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
Well I just put wine in my tea
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
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