the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
It was awesome explaining why I had a tiger with boxers in my bed, a little bit drunk, to a girl in a pre-sex moment
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
He said his parents were apparently coming over to surprise him with breakfast and I’ve never gotten dressed and run out of the door that quickly. I have commitment issues.
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
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