I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
I came home with 30lbs of BBQ last night. I can't pick up women in a bar but I sure can pick up leftovers from a corporate party.
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
Randomize