Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
no. you can't hotbox the world.
Thanks for ditching me last night. I got a ride home from the Dominos delivery guy. You owe me 3 large pizzas.
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
I just slipped on ice and peed on my pea coat. There's a pun there but I'm too sad to make it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
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