I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
he signed me a blank check so today i get to decide if i want to be a saint or a millionaire
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
The coke machine at work is laughing at me. Literally. I just heard laughter from the coke machine
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
Randomize
