I have demons in me.
My eyes are so dilated i literally have night vision right now.
I have never pre-planed for a better sober morning than lacing my muffin batch with tylenol.
So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
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