I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
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Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
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and you fell through a lawn chair
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
My horoscope should say: you're an alcoholic, get help today, Pisces
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