and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
do you have any idea why i woke up naked spooning my toaster?
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
I just want to let you know it was a unanimous decision that we would eat you first if we ever turned into cannibals, we figured with all the bacon you eat you may taste like it. It's a chance we are willing to take with your life...don't forget that we love you
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
you puked on the porch, i can see your jacket on the floor next to your underwear. i know your home, unchain the door, you're the worst roommate ever.
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
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