You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
That sad moment when the drawer I used to keep condoms in now has poptarts in it..
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
We have an albino peacock in our apartment. It's beautiful.
Scratch it being beautiful, bitch just stole my McDonalds. Call animal control.
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
Randomize
