we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
I just realised I've never been sober in my apartment
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
Randomize
