Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(225): View more from Louisiana

If I die today, promise to let the world know I partied.... oh god did I party

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(845): View more from New York

puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.

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(412): View more from Pennsylvania

woke up this morning with "hah" written on my penis.i was like wtf?? morning wood kicked in and found out what it really said, haNNah.then i remembered.

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(804): View more from Virginia

quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick

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(727): View more from Florida

Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.

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(917): View more from New York City

My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case

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(727): View more from Florida

There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.

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(240): View more from Maryland

I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.

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(831): View more from California

Hey do you care to explain why there are 3 empty pickle jars next to me when I woke up or do I even wanna know?

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