So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
Just had that moment when you realize the two drunk women shoving all their money down your clothes were your middle school teachers...
I made a list on my phone of places I want to fuck, it's right under my list of groceries I'm getting a little too used to regular sex but dude monogamy is the shit
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
Cut a hole in the crotch of my onesie so we could have sex without me getting cold. Best decision of my life.
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
Randomize
