Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
Couple in the hotel room next to me keep fucking. When I hear her get close I call the room wait for them to stop and hang up. If I'm not getting any tonight then no one should.
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
She said my new name was "ranch" because I "looked delicious"
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
This is the third time this year I've whored myself for a Netflix login. If this guy changes his password, I'm gonna fucking give up.
Or maybe pay for Netflix?
I'm not that desperate yet.
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
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