i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
time to smoke my breakfast
can you take me to a tanning bed
sure, why though?
i have to go once so i can blame these herpes on the tanning bed and she won't get suspicious
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
Randomize
