At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
It’s just a penis. It’s like every other penis except it’s not the one you’re married to. Ride it or don’t ride it, but don’t agonize about it
Your not going to hell because you need some strange and the neighbor noticed you look damn good in a bikini
Randomize
