covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
Everyone knows that the fastest route to a corporate advancement is to take a shot in the mouth
Everything about him screamed your future.
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
Randomize
