I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
I'm about one sudden movement away from being able to cross "throw up in a fortune 100 company's bathroom" off my bucket list.
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
Just learned that the cute guy I've been flirting with at the beach this whole time is actually an inmate working in the community instead of being in prison.. My life is unreal
I traded some nice guy at the bar ten bucks and a pack of cigarettes for his leather jacket. I'm pretty sure I win at life. Whoever is in my phone as Tyler Durden, I thank you.
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
Randomize
