Tonight was like the Noah's Ark of alcohol. I had to have two of everything.
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
Woke up with puke in my bed and my pockets full of Tootsie Rolls.
Jealous.
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
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