So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
This show inspires me to have sex in space
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
Made a vodka juice box out of a ziploc bag and a straw for when I drive. Doesn't count as an open beverage container anymore.
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
THE MAINTENANCE MEN WERE DOWN STAIRS AND I THOUGHT THEY WERE MY MOM. I'VE BEEN YELLING 'GRILL ME A CHEESE' AT THEM FOR HALF AN HOUR
I think my nap took me to another dimension
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
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