Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
Every time my boyfriend threatens to commit suicide I change my relationship status as "widowed".
i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
I told her I had the flu when in reality I did way too many drugs last night, haven't slept and don't want to sit through a 3 hour buisness meeting trying to figure out which voices are real and which are in my head
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
Emergency! LinkedIn connected me to a hotornot hookup from sophomore year... slutty phase sphere has officially invaded grown up professional sphere. My illusions of interweb sexual anonymity have been exploded.
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
Randomize
