I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
Apparently I've told this bouncer I stalk him on Instagram 3 times. I should stop drinking. I only remeber saying it tonight. early sign of Alzheimer's
I have a hunchback of notre dame journal from when I was 6 wherein sits a diary entry that reads "saw liar liar today. Carrey's best yet" and that's all.
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
Randomize
