I can text with my tongue
i upgraded from drunk texts to drunk e-mails...real world here i come
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
So when's a good time this week to show up at your apartment in nothing but a trench coat and a bow? Y'know. Hypothetically.
The fact that the praying hands are in my top emojis defines how 2016 is going so far
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
Randomize