Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
Send me the picture of my mugshot, my boss got arrested last night and I'm trying to make her feel better.
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
Don't tell him that you hope he dies in a boring missionary position with his wife. That doesn't go over well.
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
Randomize
