My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
Just found out I reached my $2500 deductible and I have a $5 million dollar cap on my health insurance. Let's get drunk and do something recklessly stupid tonight.
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
Why is there puke in my guitar?
Because you puked in your guitar.
I'm sexting with a 20 year old that has a foot fetish... This is what Sailor Jerry drives me to do.
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
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