so remember that time i slept over and came home in the morning to realize i left my vibrator next to the faucet for parents and brothers to see? this is worse
He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
the only reason he called me tonight was because I fertilized his crops on farmville.
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
Come see our sink grown plant.
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
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