I just had to explain to the pharmacy cashier that the Plan B and thank you notes I was buying were not related.
I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
thursday was literally the first time i didnt drunk eat since the bush administration and it was only because i was fucking someones boyfriend. making a mental note to do that more often.
Drunk tip #47: Its better to overestimate how many plastic bottles itll take to urinate in, rather then underestimate.
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
What are you doing St Patricks day? I'm banned from all work parties with open bar ever since the cinco de mayo party that I dumped a drink on my co-workers head and played air guitar on my boss' ankle cast.
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
Randomize
