If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
the quote on the bathroom wall was "stop reading this and focus on peeing" and i realized i'd peed on the seat.
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
I think I just danced on the bar. With a man named Alabama.
Thank you for turning 21. I'm going to love reading your texts.
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
I literally have anal toys soaking in the bathroom sink and dinner on the stove. If that doesn't scream "domestic goddess", I don't know what the fuck does.
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
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