There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
What kind of gift says "I'm sorry you accidentally stuck your hands in my puke (even though you should know better by now)"?
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
Stumbled out of my bed this morning into the bathroom at 8 am still drunk, obviously. The Mormon on my floor was in the bathroom. I could practically hear her doing hail marys for me.
My girl friends dad just asked how I get so drunk and then he passed out with a bloody Mary in his hand on the couch it's 230 do you know where your parents are
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
Randomize
