You work out of a Hotel?
just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
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