Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
Hey Im running from the cops. hiding in a bush. when you're approaching the intersection honk the horn twice and I will come out.
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
Note to self: the judgement that occurs when unrolling your last 5 which was used to snort drugs the night before, to pay for alcohol before noon on a Monday is worth just sucking it up and taking an overdraft fee.
Wait a min, you had drugs last night?!
The best part of tonight is drunk commenting on my moms pic about how birds just want to give you diseases and pluck out your eyes
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
Nothing says I'm committed to you for all eternity like letting him wear crocs to the wedding
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
Randomize
