Gettin pulled over, can you watch my dog and pay the bils for a while?
I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just saw a man pushing two thirtys of beers in a stroller while his little kid ran to keep up. father of the year
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
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