didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
The air was thick with penises
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So you've been sexting me while spending time with your family
I'm a family man but I have priorities
I JUST WOKE UP WITH MY UBER DRIVER
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
Me and mom just bonded over our mutual desire to bang Mark Ruffalo. I'm not sure how to feel about this.
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
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