i would totally switch to progressive if they'd let me bang that girl in the commercial.
i woke up today to a handjob from this really fat girl that keeps calling me michael phelps
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
Randomize
