Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
It's like Facebook knows when I'm about to masturbate and tells me to reconnect with exes.
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
the EMT asked how you broke your nose and you said, "you know, the usual wear and tear."
I was arrested last night for attempting to flee and elude. I wasn't really trying to run from the police. I was drunk and lost in the woods. I thought it was pretty obvious when I was waving at them from my puddle of puke that I wasn't really hiding.
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
He sent me a pic of his coffee mug to be like "I'm having coffee too.” \nImagine that. Morning coffee. In your boring ass mug. Dick pic or gtfo.
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