i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
soo according to the calendar on my phone, I'm 5 minutes late to have sex with that guy from work. Apparently we planned this, I even set an alarm.
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
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