Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
85% positive I just found a hair of a certain variety wayyy in the back of my mouth between two teeth while flossing.
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm pretty sure last night was the first time I've seen someone drink beer-soaked paper towels. Ever.
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
The low-flow toilet at my office cannot handle the intensity of this hangover.
Two ladies just showed up with my fucking purse. It was in the fucking street. I'm a train wreck. As a financial advisor, this shouldn't happen. I should be an adult.
I have bruises all over my body. Seriously, I'm a train wreck. I'm too damn old for hangovers like this.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
The fact that the praying hands are in my top emojis defines how 2016 is going so far
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
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