a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
Jesus Christ. How the fuck do you not tell someone that your wife can see on the phone bill who you text and how many times ?
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
Randomize
