the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
Don't worry, your car is safe with me. I am throwing watermelons out of it at mailboxes and hipster kids.
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
Your lack of enthusiasm for my exciting news of drunken debauchery with an otherwise occupied vagina of one of my greatest conquests yet disturbs me. I'm not happy with you
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
I'm sun burnt so instead of getting drunk and trying to sleep with you, how about we get naked and you scratch my body and rub lotion on me while I rub one out?
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
Randomize
