If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
Tiger Woods should have just walked in, gave everyone a high five, and left.
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
I think one day, after evolution kicks in, my sons will thank me for having a 3rd ball. That's how much sex I'm having.
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
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