Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
You called yourself Captain Aspirin and then tried to cure my headache by shoving pills up my nose. Fuck you becoming a nurse, you can't take care of me while you're drunk ever again. Ever.
Yeah dude. Pulled out the couch and a bird flew at me. Please tell me who put a bird in my house.
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
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