I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
Had dinner with my ex husband. The box of wine is gone and I'm laying on the floor in my wedding dress. Where are you?!
You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
I was taking a nap and she comes in wo/ pants, gets up on the bed and mounts my face while watching Weeds on Netflix. I'm okay with it, but at least let me wake up first.
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
Randomize
