I would like to feed your fingertips to the wolverines.
You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
I'm pretty sure she sent a group text out saying that I was the one to get with her last night and sorry to everyone who didnt make it.
Honestly it was an honor just to be nominated.
Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
Oh boy. Send him a care package with laxative cookies and alcohol. So he can shit himself while he's passed out drunk.
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
Randomize
