I haven't gotten laid in forever. I'm obsessed. I imagine I this is how Ethopians feel about food.
I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
found your viking helmet in the parking lot this morning, its missing a horn. There was still liquor in the remaining horn. shots from a viking helmet should be mandatory.
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
Randomize
