They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
The whole time we were fucking I kept thinking, "My dad would love this cologne. I'll have to ask him where he got it." the highlight of the night is that I figured out my dad's birthday gift.
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
somehow attending a funeral viewing turned into me snorting cocaine in the bathroom and drawing ninja turtles for children
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
Randomize
