I'm at work and it's 1:30. I need a beer. is that bad?
Welcome to every minute of my life.
Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
i'm going to invent a mini fridge that can hang from faucets so i don't have to get out of the bathtub anymore for a cold beer. its a million dollar idea
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
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