and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
Randomize
