we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
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you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
On second thought, is it weird that I scheduled a surgery that determines my fertility around lingerie football night? I might have fucked up priorities.
Absolutely not. I would have done the exact same thing.
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
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That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
He is farting the alphabet right now. In the goddamned restaurant. You don't get to recommend men anymore. Or restaurants for that matter.
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
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