covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
You should be grateful to be my roommate. My booty calls always drive you places in the morning.
i woke up this morning cuddling with a 3 foot statue of Jesus. heaven here i come
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
Bank of America texted me 7 times in 12 hours to say my balance was below $50. I kept transfering money back in. Then I texted my bank saying that it was okay, i knew what I was doing.
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
Let the clothes fall where they may.
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
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