look no pants
Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
when I picked him up he smelled like cheeseburgers, had a bite mark around his left nipple and we think someone stabbed him in the forehead with a pencil... it was like the Hangover meets Texas Chainsaw Massacre
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
This was the fourth year in a row I got arrested at Pride. Pretty sure that qualifies me as a legend.
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