Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
I woke up and found a doughnut on our front porch. It's not sketchy though. More like a gift from the gods.
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
Randomize
