just went onto Yahoo and the featured article had a picture of one of the Jonas brothers. last two times the featured article was a celebrity's face the headline was "Michael Jackson is Dead" and "Pitchman Billy Mays is Dead" so naturally I got a little excited. Turns out he's just engaged. Who gives a fuck.
i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
I just bought a large Pizza and Xanex in the same store...my night is complete
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
Your maid of honor is passed out in a golf cart on the 18th hole.
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
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