you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
I just spent all my babysitting money on red cups and beer.
People still let you watch their kids?
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
Just scrubbed my teeth for a good twenty minutes. Herpes is afraid of toothpaste, right?
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
I'm gonna write a book entitled "when you give a cop a cookie..."
I don't even want to know.
If he ever pulls my hair again, I'm going to conveniently have lock jaw. Then he can decide whether pain during sex is still fucking appealing.
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