Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
I wish they had a "No Yankees" filter on status updates.
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
Apparently someone switched my cash for monopoly money after midnight so I couldn't get any more drinks at the bar
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
I only remembered where urgent care was because it's across the street from my favorite bar
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
Please ask me to tell you about the time I watched two of my friends chase my drunk roommate with a broken foot around downtown
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
Randomize
