There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
I gave him 3 xanax and recorded the ball drop. He's gonna think tonight is New Years.
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
Just got a nosebleed, my period and the runs all at the same time. I'm either dying, or this is the first sign of the apocalypse. You warning you in case it's the latter.
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
On another note, I think my upstair neighbor is having sex. How awkward would it be if I showed up to her door with a bag of Chipotle?
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Randomize
