I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
i wasnt laughing because you were puking, i was laughing because three yards away there was a couple seriously getting it on
continuing my moment killer tradition in the best possible way
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
Randomize
