I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
This house was built for laser tag.
She swallowed my jizz and then took a shot of jack daniels and said "chaser." This cant be real life.
I left a cheeto on everyone's car trailing to the house i'm at, hanzel and gretel style.
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
Randomize
