I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
My "Week Of Not Checking Into OK Cupid So I Don't Hook Up With Another Fat Chick" lasted four hours. On the plus side, she was the smallest one yet.
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
Welp just pooped in a garbage can. Guess I'm not better than you at life in any aspect.
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I distinctly remember holding up a piece of ham pizza and screaming: "WHO THE FUCK EATS HAM PIZZA" in the face of a bunch of scared 13 year old girls faces, while my own sister laughed in mine.
My parents worry about me having parties when they go on vacation. Umm no it just means I'm drinking and smoking alone on the first floor of the house instead of the second
Hashtag Pathetic
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
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