i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
God gave me these boobs for a reason other than for people to throw things down them.
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
The bridesmaid just threw up on herself. This is going to be the best wedding ever
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm making myself a nametag with my contact info and pinning it to myself like a kindergardenter in case I get lost when I black out on Sat.
Can we laminate it? Just to be safe.
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
My day in three words: secret purse cake
I literally just told you I found out I masturbate in my sleep. I think we can be snapchat friends again
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
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