It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
my lips still taste like vagina
so you liked breakfast?
ehh, still wish we woulda went to IHOP instead
Every time I find out someone else from high school got pregnant accidentally, I want to declare victory over them.
You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
I'm deleting Tinder. I got there he rubbed my back and then proceeded to jerk off on me.
Randomize
