he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
You're the end to all my bad dreams.
Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again?
So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
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Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
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