Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
Dude, sorry for live texting you my binge drinking. If you'd like me to do the same for my hangover, I can share that I just had to sit down while q-tipping my ears.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
Shout out to this stomach virus for helping me prepare for whatever slutty Halloween costume I decide to wear.
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
THERE IS JIZZ ON MY CEILING. HOW THE FUCK IS THERE JIZZ ON MY CEILING
Randomize