it's too hot outside to masturbate.
So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
There is a 97.5% chance that my sketchy roommate is also a hooker.
So when can I meet her?
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
If more people understood that brunch is at 3pm the world would be a better place because you don't have to wake up early. Breakfast food is important
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
he just fucked me for my cheese.
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
Randomize
