So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
dude, I'm watching paul blart mall cop. I have better things to do than listen to you whine about your recent divorce.
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
Did you really just text me at 6:35 in the morning asking where the condoms were? I moved out a year ago.
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
I should not be allowed to reproduce. The world doesn't need my sarcastic asshole demon spawn in child form
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
Randomize
